Spiraling out of control

What should I do?
What should I aim for?
I hate it
I love it
The uncertainty
The call
Is lulling me
Into sleep deprived thoughts
Should I emerge out of these illusions?
So many roads
And so many sins I need to
Atone for
Humility is a challenge
So I continue weeping
Waiting for someone to find me
Waiting for the apology
That will never come
We all have our heavy crosses
But still we go on
And I can’t stop now that I’ve begun
So feel the water run its course
And move on
Even if your track
Spirals out
Of
Control
…?

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Let it go

You didn’t realize
That things were piling up.
You didn’t see it coming,
The heartbreak,
The dark clouds looming
In the sky.

Now there are tears in your eyes
A weight on your shoulders
You can’t see the light
In the end of the story
You’re so afraid to fall

The old plan isn’t gonna work here…
So make a new one

Take this dead weight from you
And let it all go away
Let the wind take everything
That ever dragged you down

I know how it feels
My whole life I felt
Like I had to feel
A certain way

My whole life I carried this weight in me
My soul was chained

Now I let it all go
It was never for me to carry
It was never my fault
I have to let it go

Take these old wings of yours
And take flight
Don’t worry
Good things are coming
Just be free

Let yourself be taken by the wind…

Just be

You know what?
I’m tired of
All the motivation signs
On the wall.
Hey, guess what!
It’s okay to want to feel
Happiness.
But I’m going to tell you
Something new:
We can’t
Feel happy
All the f***ing time.

I’m tired.
So what?
I’ve had a tough week.
I can lay back a little
And relax
And just not think.
It’s okay if we can’t
Be productive
Every single moment
Of our lives.
Because even God
Rested on the
Seventh day,
Right?

I’m feeling a little sad.
So what?
I’ve had a couple
Of rough days before.
Feelings should just
Be validated
Instead of ripped off of you
And left hanging
On the wall.
Live through your sadness.
Don’t be so hard
On yourself.
You’re only
Human.

We are allowed to feel
However the f***
We want (need) to feel.
It’s okay to miss the rhyme sometimes.
Those motivation signs,
One day, they’ll come in handy.
But for now, let’s have a hug
And just let ourselves be.

Not having

Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning.
I feel like the world is dying
Right in front of me, crying
For my help, but I can’t stop falling
And my throat is clogging
And my head is blazing
With so much thinking
And my heart is brimming
With so, so much feeling
And I begin believing
In some bad things, reaching
A point where I’m screeching
Inside, my heart is going
But I’m forced to keep staying
I want to run but I’m failing
And at these times a voice is screaming
The only thing that I’m assimilating:
Start writing.

Daydream

I’m looking through the bus’ window

The traffic is frozen in time

I’m lost in thought while the people around me

Converse with one another

I’m listening to the sounds of my soul

The notes of my heart drum in my ears

Everything I am

Is still unknown to myself

I’m diving in trying to find any kind of light

I want to dress myself up in stars

And travel through the galaxies

Touching the sparkles

And they won’t burn me.

Pilot

This is the end of a journey. We are now in a stage where all we can see is the night, pitch black, with only the moon to guide us as the sole light. We are almost at the top. The way was so rocky, just like we know it. But in our hearts, we all know it was worth it. All the suffering, all the crying, all the strength employed in this hike, all of it had a meaning, and it’s just so beautiful. Holding hands, we are all destined for something greater, for something that will launch us into a new world, a new view, a new sky… We will be free, finally. We will be able to live our lives the way we want it. 

But this is not just the end, and we know it. We are aware that there is a way much harder than before, waiting for us after this milestone. But just like a child filled with wonder, we will brave this way with curiosity. Just like an innocent child, we will look at the scorpion and think it pretty because it is shiny. And we’ll be disappointed, and sad, when things don’t go the way we expected. But we will heal and move on to even bigger things. We will transcend this reality that we were born in, and fly higher than ever before. We will win. 

So this is the end. But it’s also the pilot episode of this new season of our lives.