i spent so long in the dark
and now that i am out again
the sun blinds my skin
and i wonder how can i
gather all these pieces
how do i fix
all this mess i’ve left behind
but the blue screams so loudly
inside my heart
screeching “you have to rise”
and it’s overwhelming
and the sun burns my eyes
and my strength has left me
oh brightness
how you hurt me
but
please don’t leave me
You didn’t realize
That things were piling up.
You didn’t see it coming,
The heartbreak,
The dark clouds looming
In the sky.
Now there are tears in your eyes
A weight on your shoulders
You can’t see the light
In the end of the story
You’re so afraid to fall
The old plan isn’t gonna work here…
So make a new one
Take this dead weight from you
And let it all go away
Let the wind take everything
That ever dragged you down
I know how it feels
My whole life I felt
Like I had to feel
A certain way
My whole life I carried this weight in me
My soul was chained
Now I let it all go
It was never for me to carry
It was never my fault
I have to let it go
Take these old wings of yours
And take flight
Don’t worry
Good things are coming
Just be free
Let yourself be taken by the wind…
Lately, I’ve been really tired, wanting to just drop asleep anywhere I’m at. Everything was just pooling around me. Then I decided I was going to gather my life back together. Not that it was screwed up, actually I’m really grateful. It’s just that it was a bit messy, the light kind of mess, which makes you not want to notice it for a while, and then you push it to the back of your mind and then you forget about it. Yeah. But then it started to bother me so I decided to straighten some things in my life. Like, for example, using my free time to study and write more. Not for hours, no, starting with just a half hour here, a half there, one step at a time. Or solving minor problems in my internship program, which revealed themselves not to be problems after I looked to solve them.
I guess that sometimes we look at the big picture too much, and we feel overwhelmed. It’s like cleaning a very messy house, you can’t expect to complete it in just one go. You have to clean each room at a time.
Now back to work.
Feelings all around, scattered
Fighting for a space
In this road, I am lost
But I look at the sky
The rain falling down
I have to let the storm
Run its course
Like a fever it’s burning
And washing me away
I have to find out who I am
I have to follow
What rings true to my heart
What is the right way to walk
This road in which I’m lost.
