I was looking at old photos again. It seems that, everytime something major in my life is changing, I get this urge to look at old pictures and compare that time with the present, and also imagine what it would be like to travel to the past and what I would change. I know I can’t go back and stop certain things from happening, or do things I wish I had done before. But this exercise makes me remember who I am now and why. Everything that I’ve been through.
Now as I’m in a phase of transformation, of endings, of begginings, I feel this urge more than ever. I often catch myself thinking about high school and the freshman year in college, meditating about all the people I’ve met and had to let go, and all the achievements I reached.
But today I feel differently… Like some of the things in my life have come full circle.
In the past, I always used to worry about being alone forever. Now I know I’m never going to be alone. Even if I end up living completely by myself, I’ll never be alone, because my friends and family will always stay in my heart. Their love will never leave me. The happy memories will also be here, they’re engraved in the stars, never to disappear.
So now I’m feeling nostalgic and, at the same time, hopeful.
Here’s to tomorrow.
falling leaves on my window
the sun is shining again
the night was dark but now
i can finally say it’s gone
an attempt at being normal
made me discover you
and after taking the chance
i don’t care what we’ll go through
i’m scared shitless of what’s coming
of screwing everything up
i’m scared of getting hurt
you know the fears of my heart
the dark night existed and it haunts
even in the sun there’s a shade
but as long as you’re with me
everything else seems to fade
so i wanna see you today
i wanna kiss you everyday
i’m not running away
’cause you make me want to stay.
Instead of reassuring yourself that nothing will happen, have the mindset that “whatever happens, I’ll be fine”.
Even if you worry that bad things are coming, create a mechanism to guarantee that you’ll be okay, like figuring out which friends are really supportive and which aren’t, knowing that you can reach out to your family, or just trusting fate. Face the challenges with a serene heart and the knowledge that time can heal anything, so just wait and hope. And be fine.
This is the true strength.
I wish I had the power
To make everything right
Banish pain from the existence
With just a sweep of my hand
But everything is so unclear
And I’m weak against the tide
Change is coming and I’m not sure
That the stars will still shine…
But take my hand
It doesn’t have much power, but
I can help you stand
Against the wave overflowing
And I can’t banish suffering
But I can ease the pain
So just take my hand.