You didn’t realize
That things were piling up.
You didn’t see it coming,
The dark clouds looming
In the sky.
Now there are tears in your eyes
A weight on your shoulders
You can’t see the light
In the end of the story
You’re so afraid to fall
The old plan isn’t gonna work here…
So make a new one
Take this dead weight from you
And let it all go away
Let the wind take everything
That ever dragged you down
I know how it feels
My whole life I felt
Like I had to feel
A certain way
My whole life I carried this weight in me
My soul was chained
Now I let it all go
It was never for me to carry
It was never my fault
I have to let it go
Take these old wings of yours
And take flight
Good things are coming
Just be free
Let yourself be taken by the wind…
Standing in these corridors,
I take a deep breath
Feeling every thought on my skin…
And I realize you are all here
I am never alone in these halls
Red spilled and swallowed right back
And spit out of a mouth which
Never knows how to give a proper answer.
I can see your tired eyes
I can see your defeated demeanor
But I can see you are ready to try
To fight again with even more strength
And I know you are focused
Walking on your own two feet
But just know my hand is in yours
Know I am watching over you
Know my steps are connected to yours
Know my eyes are facing the same direction
Know I am here, a constant presence
And I will never leave you.
I’m not a normal person anymore
I’m not just a girl
I’m not someone who is waiting
I’m not as dumb as I thought
I’m capable of so much more
And this moment translates this
Bathing my soul in stars
I reclaim the prize
This is the end of a journey. We are now in a stage where all we can see is the night, pitch black, with only the moon to guide us as the sole light. We are almost at the top. The way was so rocky, just like we know it. But in our hearts, we all know it was worth it. All the suffering, all the crying, all the strength employed in this hike, all of it had a meaning, and it’s just so beautiful. Holding hands, we are all destined for something greater, for something that will launch us into a new world, a new view, a new sky… We will be free, finally. We will be able to live our lives the way we want it.
But this is not just the end, and we know it. We are aware that there is a way much harder than before, waiting for us after this milestone. But just like a child filled with wonder, we will brave this way with curiosity. Just like an innocent child, we will look at the scorpion and think it pretty because it is shiny. And we’ll be disappointed, and sad, when things don’t go the way we expected. But we will heal and move on to even bigger things. We will transcend this reality that we were born in, and fly higher than ever before. We will win.
So this is the end. But it’s also the pilot episode of this new season of our lives.
I was looking at old photos again. It seems that, everytime something major in my life is changing, I get this urge to look at old pictures and compare that time with the present, and also imagine what it would be like to travel to the past and what I would change. I know I can’t go back and stop certain things from happening, or do things I wish I had done before. But this exercise makes me remember who I am now and why. Everything that I’ve been through.
Now as I’m in a phase of transformation, of endings, of begginings, I feel this urge more than ever. I often catch myself thinking about high school and the freshman year in college, meditating about all the people I’ve met and had to let go, and all the achievements I reached.
But today I feel differently… Like some of the things in my life have come full circle.
In the past, I always used to worry about being alone forever. Now I know I’m never going to be alone. Even if I end up living completely by myself, I’ll never be alone, because my friends and family will always stay in my heart. Their love will never leave me. The happy memories will also be here, they’re engraved in the stars, never to disappear.
So now I’m feeling nostalgic and, at the same time, hopeful.
Here’s to tomorrow.
I’m sorry if my words hurt you. But I know that you know they have at least some truth in them. You give me love and care. But you don’t give me freedom. Freedom to make my own choices. Freedom to have experiences. Freedom to talk to you. When I try to break free, you just give me that sarcastic smile and reinforce the shackles that imprison me to you. I can’t be what I really want to be because you make me feel like I have something to prove. So, I try to live by your standards, but I’m not happy. If I could be anywhere else but here, I would be. You don’t see what this is doing to me. I’m young, but I feel old, seeing the years slip by through my fingers without being able to do anything about it.
You don’t see me breaking.
And that’s why you’ll never see me leaving.