feeling like

i wasn’t good enough

i wasn’t able

to hear anything at all

my fingers

clenched themselves

in front of the

problems on the shelf

i couldn’t align

anything anymore

when i started

floating away

and the sky above me

turned to gray

i didn’t let you

finish your sentence

i just wanted to find

a way to end this

but giving up

never crossed your mind

and with these

strong arms of yours

you held me

and looked me

in the eyes.

 

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Spiraling out of control

What should I do?
What should I aim for?
I hate it
I love it
The uncertainty
The call
Is lulling me
Into sleep deprived thoughts
Should I emerge out of these illusions?
So many roads
And so many sins I need to
Atone for
Humility is a challenge
So I continue weeping
Waiting for someone to find me
Waiting for the apology
That will never come
We all have our heavy crosses
But still we go on
And I can’t stop now that I’ve begun
So feel the water run its course
And move on
Even if your track
Spirals out
Of
Control
…?

Let it go

You didn’t realize
That things were piling up.
You didn’t see it coming,
The heartbreak,
The dark clouds looming
In the sky.

Now there are tears in your eyes
A weight on your shoulders
You can’t see the light
In the end of the story
You’re so afraid to fall

The old plan isn’t gonna work here…
So make a new one

Take this dead weight from you
And let it all go away
Let the wind take everything
That ever dragged you down

I know how it feels
My whole life I felt
Like I had to feel
A certain way

My whole life I carried this weight in me
My soul was chained

Now I let it all go
It was never for me to carry
It was never my fault
I have to let it go

Take these old wings of yours
And take flight
Don’t worry
Good things are coming
Just be free

Let yourself be taken by the wind…

Just be

You know what?
I’m tired of
All the motivation signs
On the wall.
Hey, guess what!
It’s okay to want to feel
Happiness.
But I’m going to tell you
Something new:
We can’t
Feel happy
All the f***ing time.

I’m tired.
So what?
I’ve had a tough week.
I can lay back a little
And relax
And just not think.
It’s okay if we can’t
Be productive
Every single moment
Of our lives.
Because even God
Rested on the
Seventh day,
Right?

I’m feeling a little sad.
So what?
I’ve had a couple
Of rough days before.
Feelings should just
Be validated
Instead of ripped off of you
And left hanging
On the wall.
Live through your sadness.
Don’t be so hard
On yourself.
You’re only
Human.

We are allowed to feel
However the f***
We want (need) to feel.
It’s okay to miss the rhyme sometimes.
Those motivation signs,
One day, they’ll come in handy.
But for now, let’s have a hug
And just let ourselves be.

Not having

Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning.
I feel like the world is dying
Right in front of me, crying
For my help, but I can’t stop falling
And my throat is clogging
And my head is blazing
With so much thinking
And my heart is brimming
With so, so much feeling
And I begin believing
In some bad things, reaching
A point where I’m screeching
Inside, my heart is going
But I’m forced to keep staying
I want to run but I’m failing
And at these times a voice is screaming
The only thing that I’m assimilating:
Start writing.

Hunch

There is something wrong.
I don’t know exactly what.
There is a heaviness in my tongue,
Something lurking in the dark.

The exhaustion in my bones
Make me think I can’t even stand.
Right now I can’t be strong,
I can’t really think of any plan.

The days go on through me,
Unknown people in the crowd,
That I can’t notice for the life of me.
No one makes me turn around.

I’m trying so hard just to stay awake…
The clouds surround me in my mind…
My swimming vision is what I can’t take
But I can clearly see something is not right.