Law

Standing in these corridors,
I take a deep breath
Feeling every thought on my skin…
And I realize you are all here
Surrounding me
I am never alone in these halls
Red spilled and swallowed right back
And spit out of a mouth which
Never knows how to give a proper answer.

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Not having

Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning.
I feel like the world is dying
Right in front of me, crying
For my help, but I can’t stop falling
And my throat is clogging
And my head is blazing
With so much thinking
And my heart is brimming
With so, so much feeling
And I begin believing
In some bad things, reaching
A point where I’m screeching
Inside, my heart is going
But I’m forced to keep staying
I want to run but I’m failing
And at these times a voice is screaming
The only thing that I’m assimilating:
Start writing.

Hunch

There is something wrong.
I don’t know exactly what.
There is a heaviness in my tongue,
Something lurking in the dark.

The exhaustion in my bones
Make me think I can’t even stand.
Right now I can’t be strong,
I can’t really think of any plan.

The days go on through me,
Unknown people in the crowd,
That I can’t notice for the life of me.
No one makes me turn around.

I’m trying so hard just to stay awake…
The clouds surround me in my mind…
My swimming vision is what I can’t take
But I can clearly see something is not right.

dark trees

are you there?
are you okay?
do you want me
to leave?
please say
no

a lot of things happening around us
but you
stay hidden
behind the cover
behind the fog

the black forest
lays on top of me
darkness threatens
to overwhelm everything

please say something
please tell me
where is the wound
so i can heal

don’t be silent.

Bleeding out

Sometimes, I’m so numb
That I need the external
To help me feel something
I love how music
Can feed the hollow
The hole deep inside
Everyone has their trials
I deal with mine
And it’s nobody’s fault
Why I can’t get out
I’m bound to a half made destiny
So just let go
I know, I fear
The one I hold dear
Will one day disappoint me
I don’t get invited to parties
Much too boring
I’m not used to having someone
By my side
Alone seems the only way
I’m selfish anyway
So why should I care?
There’s nothing for me
In the real world.

Vice

I don’t have a solution
I don’t know how to fight it
The urge was so great
I could not stop myself

Now the guilt is waves of dark mass rolling around the corner of my room

The shadows whisper cutting through
The carefully woven fabric of my doing
Flowers are dead and ethereal stars
Are exploding in my head

Should I give up
Maybe I shouldn’t fight it if I can’t
Because what am I going to do
Every time the urge comes and I can’t control myself
I can’t keep feeling this guilt
Just because I can never get enough of it

I just want to live.

i wanna see you today

falling leaves on my window
the sun is shining again
the night was dark but now
i can finally say it’s gone

an attempt at being normal
made me discover you
and after taking the chance
i don’t care what we’ll go through

i’m scared shitless of what’s coming
of screwing everything up
i’m scared of getting hurt
you know the fears of my heart

the dark night existed and it haunts
even in the sun there’s a shade
but as long as you’re with me
everything else seems to fade

so i wanna see you today
i wanna kiss you everyday
i’m not running away
’cause you make me want to stay.