Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning.
I feel like the world is dying
Right in front of me, crying
For my help, but I can’t stop falling
And my throat is clogging
And my head is blazing
With so much thinking
And my heart is brimming
With so, so much feeling
And I begin believing
In some bad things, reaching
A point where I’m screeching
Inside, my heart is going
But I’m forced to keep staying
I want to run but I’m failing
And at these times a voice is screaming
The only thing that I’m assimilating:
There is something wrong.
I don’t know exactly what.
There is a heaviness in my tongue,
Something lurking in the dark.
The exhaustion in my bones
Make me think I can’t even stand.
Right now I can’t be strong,
I can’t really think of any plan.
The days go on through me,
Unknown people in the crowd,
That I can’t notice for the life of me.
No one makes me turn around.
I’m trying so hard just to stay awake…
The clouds surround me in my mind…
My swimming vision is what I can’t take
But I can clearly see something is not right.
I can see your tired eyes
I can see your defeated demeanor
But I can see you are ready to try
To fight again with even more strength
And I know you are focused
Walking on your own two feet
But just know my hand is in yours
Know I am watching over you
Know my steps are connected to yours
Know my eyes are facing the same direction
Know I am here, a constant presence
And I will never leave you.
I’m not a normal person anymore
I’m not just a girl
I’m not someone who is waiting
I’m not as dumb as I thought
I’m capable of so much more
And this moment translates this
Bathing my soul in stars
I reclaim the prize
I’m looking through the bus’ window
The traffic is frozen in time
I’m lost in thought while the people around me
Converse with one another
I’m listening to the sounds of my soul
The notes of my heart drum in my ears
Everything I am
Is still unknown to myself
I’m diving in trying to find any kind of light
I want to dress myself up in stars
And travel through the galaxies
Touching the sparkles
And they won’t burn me.
I love your hands in my arms
In my back
In my hair
Your lips on mine
You can make me feel so safe
And so adventurous at the same time
I want to cross the ocean for you
We are so different
I love to rip your buttons out
I love scratching your back
Making sure you’re mine
And I’m yours.
This is the end of a journey. We are now in a stage where all we can see is the night, pitch black, with only the moon to guide us as the sole light. We are almost at the top. The way was so rocky, just like we know it. But in our hearts, we all know it was worth it. All the suffering, all the crying, all the strength employed in this hike, all of it had a meaning, and it’s just so beautiful. Holding hands, we are all destined for something greater, for something that will launch us into a new world, a new view, a new sky… We will be free, finally. We will be able to live our lives the way we want it.
But this is not just the end, and we know it. We are aware that there is a way much harder than before, waiting for us after this milestone. But just like a child filled with wonder, we will brave this way with curiosity. Just like an innocent child, we will look at the scorpion and think it pretty because it is shiny. And we’ll be disappointed, and sad, when things don’t go the way we expected. But we will heal and move on to even bigger things. We will transcend this reality that we were born in, and fly higher than ever before. We will win.
So this is the end. But it’s also the pilot episode of this new season of our lives.