time out

i should explain
the reason why i’ve been
looking empty lately
it’s the least i can do

i love you
you know that
and i know that you love me too
and i understand why you would
not want to risk anything

however
it doesn’t hurt less
because to me it felt
like you said you would
not even try to make
this thing between us
work

and i’m unexperienced
naive and stupid
and somehow i believed – i hoped
– you would not think this way
but you did
and i bled
and the red stains the carpet
even now.

i guess something broke in me
the illusion died
the smile faded
i am never able to pretend
everything is 100%
fine

i was unfair
we’re still in the beginning
somehow i forgot that
so i’m sorry i dumped so many expectations
on top of you

but i won’t apologize
for the crazy thoughts
that went through my head
they are mine
the feelings
everything
has my name written all over it
so i won’t say i’m sorry for that.

so right now i just need some time
to organize what i’m feeling
to come to terms with reality
i don’t want to talk about it now
i’m still too hurt for that

so just give me time
and i’ll come back.

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