Anomie (edited)

The words on this paper
Are the only way I can
Speak about it

So many changes
So many doubts
So many possibilities
So many
Threats

I can’t let you go
But you would let me go
So easily
So readily
At the first sign of a storm

So many mixed signals
Make up your mind
Or you love me
Or you don’t
Don’t say it without meaning

I need you so much
I love you so much
I hate you so much

You don’t know
How much blood
You spilled from my heart
You don’t believe
You killed the dream
Was it only mine?
Were you out of it?
How can I believe the words
You said before?

I know it’s the truth
But your words
They hurt anyway

How can I ever trust you again?
How can I give myself to you
The way I wanted to
Ever again?

The only thing I wanted
Was for you to say
“We can try.”
But this never even
Was considered.

I can’t bring myself to care if I’m
Exaggerating
Or in the wrong

I just want to go back
And stop myself from
Putting so much trust
Putting so many expectation
On you.

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