insurance

i love you, you know, and

i’m super scared of

the feeling that you 

provoke every time

you look at my eyes and

tell me you love me. 

i’m scared of the feeling i get 

everyone you go silent

but tell me everything 

is fine. 

i can’t bring myself 

to believe it. 

i’m scared of when 

you shut yourself down.

but, as scared as i am,

i have to ask you something 

do not lie to me,

do not break my heart. 

because i love you, but 

i’ve lived alone for so long

that i know exactly what to do

if things go wrong. 

don’t take me wrong,

it was a necessary guarantee

for me to be secure 

in the knowledge that

i can survive 

without you. 

yes, it is exactly what an 

insecure person would do. 

but i, as an insecure girl,

needed to be reassured 

by myself, so that 

i have somewhere to go,

if (when?) my primary 

destination

is no longer you. 

but be sure that i truly do

i love you. 

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