I trust you

I was afraid
Things wouldn’t stay the same
If I went all the way
With you

I was afraid you’d leave
Once you saw the real me
Once all my problems came between
What we precariously have

I was afraid of trusting
Of giving it my all
When everything you did was
Assure me I wouldn’t fall

But above all else
I was afraid of something
I’d never thought I’d be again
Of being alone

But now I remembered
Who I really am
I am the girl who makes plans
To be so independent she won’t need a man
To travel the whole world just to prove
To herself
That she can be whole
With being just by herself
And I kind of forgot all that
With your eyes like that
Like a sea that swallowed me entirely
And made me wish I’d never rise up from it again

But while I love you – and
Be sure that I do – I need to
Be myself by myself
To correct some things that are missing
I need to be sure of myself
That I can survive without you
That I can live alone
Don’t take it the wrong way
I love you until the end of my days
That’s how I feel right now
But I have to prepare for the future
And I have to stand on something
So I won’t fall for everything

I need to open my eyes to see
That there is a world beyond this
You don’t need to go away and I understand that
But I feel this urge to fight my way out from here
So I won’t be stuck in a deadly circle

So understand when I have to be alone
Understand me when my introvertedness acts up
I need to center myself
I need to be with myself
Before I can be with you.

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